Sigh

The walls are made of glass and security is strict. Paolo gets in because he swiped a special ID that I had no idea he had. I search my wallet hoping to find something like his but I take too long and the guards get suspicious.

"I must have lost it," I say.

Paolo intervenes. I watch him talk (watch because I can't seem to hear him) to the guard, explaining, entreating, joking. They lighten up and they let me in only if I arrange to get myself a new ID.

I look at Paolo surprised. I don't know what I'm doing but it sure feels fraudulent.

He tells me, "Just go along with it. It's no problem. I promise."

So I apply for a new ID but whoah, what's this, I have to stand in line at the salon to get my hair and makeup done and wait for a photographer to make me to a scenic location where I will finally get my headshot taken.

"All this for an ID? What kind of ID is this anyway? What kind of a place is this? Who do they think they are that they can do this to me?"

(I myself can't understand why I'm so angry over this.)

Paolo says nothing but I think I hear him sigh.

Annie

Nyanne and I are five years old.

"This is exactly the way it is in my dreams, Annie." Annie like before. We walk out into the school yard, holding hands, buddy system and then we fly.

We spend so much time in the air just staring down at school. By the time we land, we're seniors, late for class and we have a hard time getting back to our room.

When we finally find our room, the teacher is in the middle of a lecture and the we see that the classroom has boys. This means we're in college now.

"Good afternoon," the teacher says.

"Uh, hi." This makes the class laugh. Annie and I scamper away giggling. We hide in the next room which is empty and dark.

Ying, April and Estee come to pick me up.

"Cami, come inside. It's an important class. Where have you been?"

"I got lost."

"Lost? But you're a Scholastican! You should know this place!"

"Yes but I haven't been in this part of the campus since I was in... PREP!" I sigh. "Come, Annie," I say turning to the figure slouched against the wall.

"No," she says, "you dragged me out of there and now I'm not going back."

I consider. I do want to attend class but Annie is... I dunno. I feel responsible for her now. Guilt trip.

"Well Annie, what do you think we should do? I know I got you into this but now I miss class and I want to go back."

"Cami!" Ying sounds impatient. "Who are you talking to?"

Ying is right. There's no one there.

Exactly Like Me

I see them from the gap in the door so instead of stepping out and passing where they are I exit the back door and circle around the house. I realize that I'm being rude, that if I were younger Zitang would pinch me right in the singit for not entertaining callers properly thereby giving the family a bad name. I decide to risk it anyway and hide.

He sees me anyway.

"Cookie, what are you doing?" he asks.

"What does it look like?" I ask back. A question for a question.

"Hay, Cookie. Tumanda na tayo't lahat. Ganyan ka pa rin. Halika na!"

"Ano ba. Tignan mo. I'm drawing circles in the mud!"

This makes him laugh and he picks me up and dusts my shorts, fixes my hair and says, "I want you to come inside to meet my wife."

On our way back inside, I wonder what this girl looks like, my aftermath, his so-called wife.

My heart skips a beat when I see her face. I whisper to him, "Kiko, she looks exactly like me!"

Praise God

I don't want to sit across the table from you wishing I could run.
- Cake

Rom and I are finallly united in our hatred for each other. The marriage rites are over and we are now (puke!) husband and wife.

We obviously skip the honeymoon and my old room in Princeton is the safest place to hide from him and from everybody else. This is where I take refuge before I have to face the world and show up for work.

I'm gloomy and can't concentrate on my job which is to clean toilets and I ask my fellow toilet-scrubers, "What should I do? I hate him. I've always hated him and now I'm (puke!) married to him."

"Gosh," they say. "Talk to him. Reverse it. There has to be a way."

Funnily enough, I see Rom pass by the rows of toilets I have to clean and we merely smile that makes us both look like we are constipated.

Later, I confront him and remember to apply the sandwich approach. Positive-negative-positive. "Rom," I begin by ass-kissing, "I've always thought you were a logical man."

I can't believe it. This insincere statement has captivated him. He sits enthralled, waiting for more. I take advantage of my momentum and continue.

"But it looks like, through no fault of ours, we've gotten ourselves in an Impossible Situation."

He agrees, I can't believe how easy this is going to be. This is, by far, the easiest breakup I have ever engineered!

"You and I will have to work together to un-marry ourselves." I pause dramatically. "Do you concur?"

"What?" Hay dios ko, bobo talaga.

"Do you agree?" I paraphrase.

"Yes, yes, surely."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" I say. I am starting to see the light.

"What is it, what is it?" he asks.

"Diba before you left for Australia, you married what's-her-face? O, that means, under Philippine Law, you're still married to her! Therefore your marriage to me is - is - NULL! Diba? Makes sense?"

"Tama ka Camille but now what are we gonna do? Our parents..."

"Never mind our parents! Let me call my lawyer." By 'my lawyer' I just mean 'my friend Naj.'

We sit nervously while I call her cell. When she picks up I start ranting, "Tangina, Naj. So, Rom and I got (puke!) married totally against our wishes and so we want to reverse it and it turns out he's still married to what's-her-face, at least under Philippine law. God, I so want out of this. Can you get me out of this?"

"Camille," she says quite puzzled, "you don't have to look to Rom's marriage because... You are married. Remember? You married Paolo!"

"Ooohhhhh! You're right! Fuck! Praise God!"