Death Wish

The doctors say I'm dying. I'm in bed and I'm so hot it's like I'm burning.

They ask me, "Do you have a death wish?"

I ask them, "How many can I have?"

They say, "Just one."

Just one? Forget it! I stand up and the world spins and I can't breathe but still I go. It's dark and I see people and there are parties all around me so I try to be as quiet as possible but I have keep walking to find Teejay.

Teejay's here. Back from the States. I know it. I have to find him to tell him... to tell him...

All these people say I can't see him. He's here but I can't see him. He's busy. He has an assistant so maybe I should talk to that guy to schedule an appointment and I start to cry because I don't have much time. My chest hurts, I can't breathe, I start to throw up, I can hardly walk.

By some miracle, he steps out of a room looking like he did when we went to Nyanne's debut. "Teejay, Teejay, Teejay!"

And he gives me that smile.

And I smile back even though I don't have much time. A smile like that needs a smileback.

"Teejay, I want to tell you that..." and he steps forward to swirl me. Beautiful, beautiful Teejay. So many, many things I need to say. I don't know where to start. He keeps swirling me. Around and around until I forget what it is I have to tell him.