Ecological Implications

Put the lotion in the fucking basket, bitch, put the lotion in the basket.
- Greenskeepers, Lotion


I find myself in front of a class I didn't know I was taking. My partner, someone I didn't know was my partner, is sharing talking about -- oh i don't know what he's talking about. I feel so foolish. Standing there in my office clothes, about to be humiliated because I didn't prepare for the report. And then my partner turns to me.

"Clarice," he says, "will walk us through part two."

I throw panic looks at the audience. I am hoping someone will recognize me and confirm that I am not Clarice!

When I see Moe I look at him and try to say with just my eyes, "Well, you recognize me, don't you? You know my name, right?"

But he's waiting, just like everyone else, for me to walk everyone through part two.

I'll get through this. Maybe even find it funny one day.

Suddenly I have an epiphany! I clear my throat. I know how to proceed.

"Thank you, Dr. Lecter. The ecological implications of the premise discussed in part one..."